A Loving Father’s Thoughts On LGBT Rights, Feminism, And Intersectionality (2): The Feminists

All these feminists giving blowjobs like it’s missionary work – Jessa Crispin (Why I’m Not a Feminist: A Feminist Manfesto)



I‘ve never given much thought to the feminist movement in general, and feminists in particular, but having delved a little deeper into the matter, I now realize that I was right not to. It’s a movement that I cannot understand because it is so heterogeneous. In any case, I cannot believe that we need it to solve a problem that should never have existed in the first place. It is so obvious that women be given the exact same opportunities as men, and be treated as human beings, at work, at home, and on the street. Is it so hard to understand and implement?

As for sexual innuendos of present-day feminism, the fact that women have to defend themselves against male sexual predators is something that is so blatantly anachronistic in our so-called “civilised” societies, that it is also hard to believe that a movement such as #MeToo – that has become an integral part of the feminist movement –  ever saw the light of day. But it did, and in doing so, the questions that can be asked are (1) why aren’t women strong enough to refuse sexual assaults at the workplace, (2) are women being punished – by some men – for having longed for, and participated in, the sexual revolution and, (3) does the quest for fame and the desire to have a successful professional career, equate with sexual submission, for some women? It shouldn’t, of course, but many men in positions of power do not see it that way.


In so many ways, compared with today’s young women, we were weak; we were being prepared for being wives and mothers, not occupants of the C-Suite. But as far as getting away from a man who was trying to pressure us into sex we didn’t want, we were strong.  Caintlin Flanagan, The Atlantic


I may be naive, I know. I suppose “idealistic” would be a better word to describe my utopian views. But wouldn’t it be better if women had equal access to absolutely everything and also be able to fend off male sexual advances all by themselves?

But the fact is that the feminist movement has been around for longer than I have, and #MeToo will stay with us long after I am gone.

The problem is this – must we accept that women do not have the same opportunities to live their lives as they want to, and to dress and act as they want to without suffering prejudice, or being assaulted by jealous and devious men? The answer obtained is astonishingly complicated, and resembles matters concerning religious intolerance, racial hatred, and even the Brexit vote. It’s a “yes/no” that divides communities and even families, and creates rebellious social and political movements.


Is present-day feminism more about looks than philosophical concepts?

As with the LGBT community, it’s a question of communication, of dialogue. If we don’t talk to each other, we will never understand the problems that others face, and we will never face up to our own mistakes and misjudgments. But there must be a dialogue. The need for dialogue makes the outrageous remarks written by Jessa Crispin – a feminist who is clearly in denial – in her pamphlet entitled, “Why I am not a feminist: A Feminist Manifesto,” even worse. I began to read the book with interest because she makes some good points, namely that present-day feminism is more about looks than philosophical concepts. She rightly says that more women gaining access to positions of power and responsibility will not help the feminist cause if they then start acting like men.

What prompted me to stop reading the book and to ask for a refund, was when she refused all discussion with men. I really don’t want to hear the views of somebody who has no intention to initiate a dialogue with me. I, like most men, have questions to ask, concerning the exact nature of the feminist movement and how we men can stop doing what we do best – annoying women,


This is my response: Take that shit somewhere else. I am not interested. You as a man are not my problem. It is not my job to make feminism easy or understandable to you. It is not my job to nurture and encourage your empathy, it is not my job to teach you how to deal with women being human beings. And don’t take that shit to other women either. It’s not their job. Your lack of enlightenment is not our problem. Figure it out…Do your own fucking work, gentlemen.


Jessa Crispin wants to get rid of all inequalities, before the men had time to pop down to the local Tesco’s, put the washing in the dish-washer, the plates in the washing machine, and vacuum the stairs.


I just love a woman who swears. It’s so – how should I say – feminine? This piece of literary brilliance came after she criticised women for having an “unwillingness to share space with people with different opinions, worldviews, and histories.”  Well, sweetheart, this should be your job because men are not understanding the ins-and-outs of third-wave feminism, and have certainly missed the second wave that you seem to love. But then again, your job is to make money by selling books all about a feminism that you don’t believe in, but provide no alternative for.

From the pages of Jessa Crispin’s expensive pamphlet (€10,39 for 150-odd pages) that I actually did read, I think that she is saying that present-day feminism sucks because it appeals to everybody. She wants a real feminism that destroys the whole patriarchal set-up, and replaces it with a whole matriarchal set-up that would get rid of all inequalities before the men had time to pop down to the local Tesco’s, put the washing in the dish-washer, the plates in the washing machine, and vacuum the stairs. It’s disappointing to note that my newly discovered, and now favourite feminist is nowhere near to giving me an answer as to how this should happen. Well, what did I expect for 10 euros – a complete guide to how women can destroy the world better than men?

I looked elsewhere for an answer. After having viewed a few videos on YouTube, I got a clearer idea of what this feminism band-wagon is all about. It does seem that there are as many views on what feminism is, as there are feminists. One analogy did intrigue me – for one  young feminist, feminism is not about equality but about equity. The young girl compared a tall man and a shorter woman, using a stool to peer over a garden fence. Given the same stool (equality), the man will see further than the woman because of his size. The woman must thus be given a bigger stool, in order to be as tall as the man and have the same field of vision. That is equity. Or is it positive discrimination for women, and negative discrimination for men? And how many stools are we supposed to have to accommodate all the differences in length of the men and women wanting to have the same view over the garden fence?

Concerning global warming, does it really matter how many women are CEO’s of multinational companies that are destroying the environment, how many women politicians are unable to agree on greenhouse gas reduction measures?

Jessa Crispin’s so-called “manifesto,” is nothing less than embittered rhetoric written by a woman who has feminism running in her veins, although she refuses to admit it. But other views on what feminism is and, in particular, how men should react to it, are equally intriguing.

Don’t get me wrong. I am deeply aware of the problems that women face, problems that are caused by the primitive attitude of certain men. The question that I want to pose is a serious one – namely, is the feminist movement only about obtaining equal rights and opportunities, as well as equal respect? Should it not go further than that, assume its responsibilities, and merge with many other major inequalities affecting all of humanity, including men? Should the name “feminism” finally disappear, in its quest to save the earth from an ailing environment? In other words, feminism per se is really not that important, because it cannot combat, on its own, oppression and injustice in our world. Even worse, it cannot combat its own oppression without outside help. But my worst fear is that it will not solve the most important problem we are facing, concerning the threat to our environment. Jessa Crispin does have a point when she criticises the rise of certain women into top jobs as being an emblem of feminism. Concerning global warming, does it really matter how many women are CEO’s of multinational companies that are destroying the environment, how many women politicians are unable to agree on greenhouse gas reduction measures?


Yes, gender issues should be taken seriously, but are they that important to merit such widespread coverage and excitement in the press and on social media? Let us save the world first, and only then can women and other genders run it.

Radical change is scary. It’s terrifying, actually. And the feminism I support is a full-on revolution. Where women are not simply allowed to participate in the world as it already exists—an inherently corrupt world, designed by a patriarchy to subjugate and control and destroy all challengers—but are actively able to reshape it. Where women do not simply knock on the doors of churches, of governments, of capitalist marketplaces and politely ask for admittance, but create their own religious systems, governments, and economies. My feminism is not one of incremental change, revealed in the end to be the same as ever, but more so. It is a cleansing fire.”  –  Jessa Crispin, Why I Am Not a Feminist: A Feminist Manifesto


Maybe we should all join the feminist movement because, let’s face it, in the same way that Molière’s Monsieur Jourdain was speaking prose without knowing it, we are all feminists, if we know what is good for us. But the feminism that I could adhere to, is not based on individuality and fashion. It is based on transcendent values of liberty, respect, and love. Love for one another, irrespective of gender. Love for our tender planet that has given so much and has gained so little. The feminist movement should not be a revolution, but a circumvolution – gyrations around an axe comprising our acceptance that we are all human, that we are all genders, and that our planet is all we have that is worth fighting for.

No, Jessa Crispin, feminism is certainly not a revolution and, the way things are going, you and your followers won’t have time to implement your sort of revolution. The cleansing fire that you so eloquently write about is already upon us. It has a name – the sun – and, if we do nothing, not even women will save us from its flames.