Camilla Long And Misogyny: Good Ideas, Bad Words


In treating football players as thick overpaid yobbos who don’t know what a woman looks like, let alone what she feels, Camilla Long goes slightly over the thin line dividing misogyny and normal behaviour. Yes, most footballers are obsessed by money and good looks–not necessarily in that order–and are ready to leave politics and good manners aside to focus on their over-inflated egos. Even the great Pelé–whose passing away is for Camilla Long, out of all proportion compared to that of Vivienne Westwood (I admit I had to look Westwood up)–was guilty of having drinks with a nice chap who also happened to be a dictator with blood on his hands.

“Fashion is regarded as silly–it is a woman’s game,” Camilla Long writes. No, even diehard feminists must acknowledge that a lot of women also play football and embrace each other after scoring a goal, even if it’s an own-goal. The England women’s football team (so much better than the men’s) even got a mention in the New Year London fireworks display, which is more than can be said for Pelé. As for fashion, I spotted a neat little cardigan at a Vivienne Westwood online shop for the sweet little price of €700. Steep for something I’ll probably shrink in the washing machine, don’t you think? I can’t argue too much though, because for the same price, I can get a cheap-side seat for Barcelona against Real Madrid (air-travel, beer, and one night lodgings at the local nick not included). No, caring about fashion is just as silly as going to football matches. But for the same ridiculous price, and no effect on human civilisation, football is much more fun. I mean, where else can you watch over-tattooed men all run after a ball none of them will keep?

Sarcasm aside, I agree that Infantino is a prat, Andrew Tate should have his balls cut off by the local vet, and women are so often treated as second-class human beings. It’s just a shame that a lot of men are brought up on a 100% fat diet comprising fast cars, curling footballs, and big pay checks. They live in a world where women mustn’t say no to wearing skirts short enough to serve as a napkin for a cheap meal that will surely end up in the bedroom, along with their bodies. All because the man footed the bill, and the woman used a phony perfume whose tap water is saturated with pheromones. Unfortunately, some men just can’t tell the difference between fantasy dreams where anything goes, and the morality that should apply to real life.

Plenty of women don’t wear the latest fashion, because it’s just not important enough for them. Plenty of women watch football matches, go to World Cups, and… even play the damn game. Where is misogyny in all of that?

As for me, poor man that I am, I’ll pass on the latest Vivienne Westwood tee shirt, matching sandals and handbag, if you don’t mind. Affluent women may wear something out of Westwood’s collection next summer. I’ll just stick to my unisex jeans and sneakers, and watch Manchester City on the sports channel, drinking a glass of shandy, before helping my wife with the household chores. And before you ask, I do know how a steam iron works.