You Shift If You Want To, Boris – The EU’s Not For Shifting

Boris
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Boris Johnson is quickly gaining a reputation of being the most deluded and cynical prime minister ever. After having promised to build the Mancunians a Lego railway set for their troubles, he now insists that the bigwigs in Brussels change their tune by abandoning the damned Irish border so that the Brexit negotiations can be resumed on a different footing. He is the man who has promised to shift the EU in 90 days. It’s an all to familiar sight of another British prime minister making an absolute mug of himself. It is an embarrassment à la Chamberlain brandishing a tiny piece of paper signed by that awfully nice man from Germany – what was his name again?

 

 

To those waiting with bated breath for that favourite media catchphrase, the “U-turn,” I have only one thing to say: “You turn if you want to. The lady’s not for turning.” – Margaret Thatcher (Conservative Party Conference, 1980)

 

Why would you want to negotiate clauses if you have completely accepted them in advance? – Charles de Gaulle

 

I say, Boris, it’s just not cricket is it. The only thing you have left to do is to hold your breath as long as you have to and just hope that those exceedingly bad people from Brussels will give in to your tantrum. You’ll show them who’s leaving won’t you?

And that’s just it. Boris Johnson hasn’t quite yet understood who is leaving who, and how. As I understand it, the UK is leaving a group whose member-states depend upon the integrity of the single market and the good functioning of the customs union. In leaving the group, the UK cannot expect the EU to leave its front door open just to please the tea ladies and car-park attendants in Westminster. No hard border in Northern Ireland? Fine. Just put one down the Irish sea, and no need to look far because the Dutch are expects at keeping sea water at bay.

 

[…] since the remarks [Johnson made] we have had a series of fairly stubborn positions staked out from the EU. – Dominic Raab

 

Come on, Dominic. Who are you kidding? It’s one thing not knowing what purpose Dover serves on the map of England, but not knowing the definition of “stubbornness?”

stubbornness = dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something.

EU wants the Irish backstop and won’t change its attitude
UK doesn’t want the Irish backstop and won’t change its attitude.

Who’s being stubborn, I wonder?

 

But must we fear for the worst with Boris Johnson in charge? No, certainly not because we can rest assured that,

 

  • he won’t set any red lines for potential talks with the EU, 
Boris
The Guardian

 

  • he won’t call a general election,
Boris
The Guardian

 

  • he won’t be impolite and swear,
Boris
The Guardian

 

  • he won’t get stuck like Mrs M. did,
Boris
The Guardian

 

  • or will he?
Boris
Daily Mail

 

  • he’ll certainly get his way with the Yanks,
The Guardian

 

 

But can he rival Theresa May‘s innate skill at striking deals when it really matters?

Daily Mail

 

Yes he can. In fact, Boris Johnson is so full of talent that he can get rid of two Unions for the price of one. 

Boris
The Scotsman

 

Well done, Boris and… I just can’t wait for Halloween.