Come on you Frenchies. Don’t cry. Together with the Three Lions from across the channel, you’ve managed to get rid of a team that is so hard to get rid of – the Germans. Who said the love between England and France was lost forever, after Brexit? By winning their first group match, the French […]
Satire
Nothing To Do With Brexit – Dutch Can’t Deliver Cardboard Boxes Either
Frustrating, isn’t it? How a tiny little virus gets the better of a cardboard box containing a pair of tennis shoes. The problem is that the sports shop only worked online and there was no possibility for me to drive there, park my car in a non-viral parking space, and collect the parcel whilst wearing […]
A Fish Named Wonder – French Hold Key To Brexit Deal
I warned you some time ago that French fishermen wouldn’t let the Brits get off lightly with what they like doing best – being Brits. As the sun sets on the cold water separating the rest of the world from the beginning of the world, nasty little Frenchies are stocking up on inflammable car tyres […]
Election Fraud, Donald? – My Postal Vote Was Legit!
Donald Trump, what are you moaning about? How can the American presidential election be rigged when I voted for you by post? Yes, me – a British/French citizen living in a country that’s neither British nor French, and certainly not American. Come on Donald, let’s be serious about this. You must count your blessings. How […]
Monty Python’s Flying Virus
How can I not comment on the brilliance of the Dutch and UK government’s strides against a tiny little virus that’s causing more mayhem than Theresa May and David Cameron ever dreamed of; and Donald Trump’s infection with a mutant coronavirus that makes you look and feel 20 years younger without the need to quarantine. […]
Spice Girl Sex – Bend It Like (Victoria) Beckham
Having dipped her magic fingers into the lucrative business of music and fashion, former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham is now venturing into another domain that defines what it means to be human – sex. And it’s all fun and games and is a feminine answer to macho’s sex dolls. So girls, watch out for the […]
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Outside World
Little did we know that being enclosed within the confines of our kitchens and living rooms, we would miss a wonderful world out there. Don’t you just? My thoughts go out to those in complete lockdown. As for the rest of us who still manage to get out and about, beware – our time could […]
Forget Big Brother, It’s Little Sister I’m Worried About!
To combat the absolute fakeness of big brother Mark Zuckerberg’s infernal Facebook machine, I deleted my profile and entered a new one in the hope that Facebook would forget all about me. From being a male D.Upe, I became just an ordinary female S.H.Muck, to be pronounced with one swell burst of your very finest […]
Prince Andrew – Forgetting The Bar, Remembering The Pizza!
Do you remember what you were doing on 10 March 2001? I certainly don’t, but then again, I’m an expert at forgetting things when it suits me. And if Prince Andrew’s BBC interview is anything to go by, so is he. It’s one thing not remembering if there was a bar at Tramp’s, but not […]
Silly Old Bag!!
This post is going to be sexist and…short. Having seen a picture of The Queen in an upmarket newspaper, I ask myself the following existential question – what the hell does she carry in her handbag? I admit that I used to walk around the street with my own personal handbag – a doggy bag […]